As this year comes to an end, I, like many others I imagine, are reflecting on this year.
It has been one heck of a ride for me. So, get comfortable, grab a drink and get prepared for me to jump all over the place as I recap my year....
This year did not start on a happy note.
I lost a dear college friend unexpectedly December 24, 2010. She and her husband were killed in a car accident. Her baby girl survived at only 8 months old. This broke my heart and I felt empty and devastated. She was probably the sweetest person I have ever met. I think of her and I think of her smile. I think of her hugs. I think of the world losing such a beautiful person.
January was when the two of them were laid to rest. This is why my year started off so rough.
My little girl is just a few months behind,Emily Grace, the name of her little girl. I remember rocking Zoie (my love muffin) extra long a night because I didn't want to let go. Tears would just fall down my face. I would think of how much Jenny loved Emmy. It still breaks my heart and as this time approached at the anniversary I just cried and cried.
February. This was the month when my year was going to change. My buddy aka coach asked me at the end of 2010 about running a marathon, I said sure. I wanted to do and I asked him to hold me to my word. He did indeed. We really didn't need to start "training" for the marathon but we needed to get me running. Yes, I was not a runner. I always was a gym rat, classes, weights and the beautiful and wonderful elliptical machine but NOT a runner.
We started off with just 2 miles. When I could run those without stopping I knew. I knew I could do this. Sounds crazy at just a small distance but it gave me something to believe in.
I basically dedicated this entire year to train/run for the marathon I just finished December 4th. I will not recap that again because that is what started this blog ( I invite you to read it if you have not already) but I will say I am proud of myself.
I taught myself my real mental strength.
My entire life people have always told me I was strong. I thought I put up a good front. I believe people think this because I am always a cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on. I am happy being there for others and being their strength.
After all, to me that is what friendship is all about. I remember in high school my dad called me "dear abby" because he would hear me on the phone counseling others. Still makes me laugh.
What makes 2011 so different is for once I put ME first. I went for something that was all about me and for me. It wasn't to please others; it was for me to fulfill a dream a goal.
I honestly can say had I not trained or started running, I would be on a large sofa in some nut job's office while he or she would be writing scripts for me. The pavement was my therapy. I looked forward to my runs. I enjoyed making play lists and thinking damn I am a good dj.
I learned about myself. Many long runs was reflection time.
This year was one of the most wild rides I have had. Many changes in my life. I am not going to get into my personal life but the roads were bumpy and running made them smooth.
Right now, I am currently trying to plan out my running calendar. Mainly, I am deciding where I want my next full marathon. I am going to do many half marathons this year but only one full.
I really have lots of goals and wishes that I want to get on paper and not just about running. After seeing what I can do when I put myself in to it 100%, I know I can do anything.
After all, the hospital did send me home with a 6 lb nugget that is now 26 lbs and healthy and happy! I did something right! I credit myself because I have stayed home with her. Something I never saw myself doing but wouldn't trade the time I have spend with her for anything in the world. I am blessed!
There is a mantra that I say EVERY single day. Make fun of me if you will...
"thank you God for accelerating my life and turning my water in to wine"
I sometimes say it more than once. I am a happy and grateful person. We must all realize our blessings and not just pray when we want change. You might read this last paragraph and think, Oh great she's getting on religious on us, but I am not.
I am not even a religious person. I am a spiritual person. I believe you must do good to receive good.
One thing I have learned is that life goes on. No matter what the clock keeps ticking. Think about something that pissed you off 5 months ago, can you still recall it?
Probably not. It is important to relish in the here and now.
People are going to come in to your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If you try to analyze it while it is happening you might miss the point. Live life and don't let it pass you by.
I wish all of you a healthy, happy and bountiful NEW YEAR. Make this year your best yet!
PS ON a side note, I just watched Fat Sick & Nearly Dead the other night. I highly recommend it. I will be starting a juice fast and I will blog about it daily. Stay tuned